lilybart: (Default)
Reading Virginia Woolf - reading her fiction, reading her diaries - I get it. Lily Briscoe thinks of the structure of her painting like a mantra (like a prayer) and I get it. "I am frightfully contented these last few days, by the way. I don't quite understand it." I think I wrote that earlier this month. It's strange and terrifying and comforting in all the ways that loving Sylvia Plath was and is.

I had this long, delicious conversation with a professor this morning about how to live in the world. How to know things, believe things, understand things and still live in the world. I think it might be a choice. I'm going back on Thursday to continue the conversation and am sort of kind of compiling a list of all the things that I still have left to learn before this three semester relationship fades away. So much. (I miss her already.)

It snowed today. Really, truly snowed. It's beautiful and it's my favorite. Happy.

I have this really unbelievably healthy, functional friendship with my best friend right now. She is one of those solid, real things in my life and I just feel so supremely lucky.

I'm cautiously hopeful. I'm content; I don't quite understand it.
lilybart: (Default)
I love my students; I hate staying up late studying for exams.

My life right now. (Or, the big bits, condensed.)

Fall break Friday at noon. Cannot wait.
lilybart: (Default)
I'm getting back that part of me that just really believes in things and people.

I didn't even know it was missing.

I'm taking a year or two off to get that back together and to relocate with my best friends and to read and just think. Also, I just really want to soak up these last few months as an undergrad. I want to work on my thesis, teach my class, go to parties and drink gin, figure out if I'm going to make a go of things with b., sit on the diag with my friend while she chain smokes (and, when it gets cold, rendez-vous at Rendez-vous), pick produce, buy a soy milk maker, go to a football game - maybe even the one against OSU, watch the Woody Allen ouvre, stop using words like "ouvre," and write the next great American novel. (One of these things is a lie.)

My brain is already churning on how I'm going to spend the year or two post grad and, oh, it's fantastic! I'm going to do something good for the world. Something that I would burn out on if I had to do it for the rest of my life but something that I need to get out of my system before I do that thing that's good for my soul.

And, best part, I'm going to live like a real person in the real world.

I've never been more terrified in my life.

I'm so excited.
lilybart: (Default)
Ugh, Doctor Who is SO mainstream. I hate how it basically continuously reinforces all that is icky. Seriously. Slavery and racial politics are NOT that simple. And I have a whole big rant about imperialism and empire but I have to go to bed because I have class tomorrow. BUT, essentially, there is something seriously fucked up about how everyone is British in every time and every place.

BUT, on the other hand, I am really liking the promise of series four BECAUSE )
lilybart: (Default)
1. New computer: boom. 13in 2.7gh MacBook Pro named Dotty.

2. New extracurriculars: boom. Women's Studies Undergrad Committee (I get to work on curriculum!) and Undergrad English Association. Better for my soul, I think.

3. New apartment: Wednesday. I'm so excited that I can barely breathe.

4. Summer semester: boom. I finished this morning at the unreasonable hour of 9am (at least the instructor brought us doughnuts - it was pretty precious) and already know that I got an A in The American Novel (which was really pretty necessary as, um, that's what I'm applying to study).

5. Reuniting with my best friend: boom. We met up after my exam and went grocery shopping (more fun than it sounds) and made lunch and caught up on LIFE. I got to see her new apartment and it's lovely - but a 20-30 minute drive from mine. That saddens me a bit. (We were half a block away from each other last year. Radical changes.)

6. Reuniting with the rest of my friends: pending. Need this to happen ASAP.

7. Doctor Who: breaking my heart. I wasn't sold on David Tennant (heresy?) until The Girl in the Fireplace. That episode, oh my gosh.

8. Dexter: season 5 started. I cannot even.

9. Zadie Smith: everyone needs to read her because she is a genius and I have a total literary crush on her and I went and bought her essay collection from the Borders sales and I feel like it's legitimate now because it's not just because I want to read her forty pages on David Foster Wallace (which, I mean, I do - I love that she loves him - but that's not the ONLY reason). On Beauty has all the strengths of White Teeth with the added bonus of being directly relevant to my interests. (SHE QUOTES ELAINE SCARRY. Zadie Smith, get out of my head.)
lilybart: (Default)
OK. So, in a moment of weakness, I started watching Doctor Who a few days ago. I think it might have something to do with finishing season 4 of Dexter and having to wait, like, four days until season 5 is available on DVD. With a finale like that - even though I'd been spoiled it was still epic - how am I supposed to be able to deal? I can't JUST watch The West Wing. I inevitably start sobbing during every episode of The West Wing. WHY DOES THAT SHOW MAKE ME FEEL SO MUCH?

Anyway, last night I finished the 9th Doctor and I'm really torn between trying to get completely caught up (at the rate I'm going, that'll take about two weeks but I also have to factor in the return of my Dexter binges) or digging into the meta-analysis completely cold. But then there's spoilers but I really just want to read about the problems with Rose because ohmygod there are so many problems and why is the Doctor so awful? And why can't we have a lady-Doctor and why is Jack so damn annoying? (Because I found him unlikable enough that I doubt I'll be watching Torchwood.) And why do I love Harriet Jones (PM) so much?

I'm basically one of those people who wants to have read the text already so that I can be talking about the text. (I'm also one of those people who refers to TV shows as text, yes.) That's so much more satisfying for me.

Also, OK. The WWII episodes pretty much hit all of my suspense buttons at once. And the Dickens episode! (This was the one that hooked me.) Ohmygosh those were the best. I don't understand why they keep trying to go into the future, the past is much more fulfilling.

In other news, I'm in the midst of finals. Thus, copious amounts of TV! Move back to school in 12 days, thankfully!
lilybart: (Default)
I'm making up a list of books to get when I go to scavenge the wreckage of Borders this week. (Vegan cookbooks! 20% off!)

I'm also finally going to get to see Midnight in Paris tomorrow.

boring stuff about my thesis ) But this may mean that I have to change my username to "souloflingerie" or something equally ridiculous.

Or not. Really, all I can think of is that episode of Gilmore Girls where Rory and Dean go to the dance and end up accidentally spending the night at Miss Patty's and she has The Portable Dorothy Parker with her. I just may write my thesis on that instead...

I move back to Ann Arbor on August 24th and I couldn't possibly be more excited! Two weeks of shenanigans before classes start!

Someday, I'll write about something substantive. Today is not that someday.
lilybart: (Default)
So, like everyone else in LJ-land, I've begun the process of importing everything to dreamwidth (I'm lilybart and I'm sure I'll regret that) and will be cross-posting from there. This all seems very silly as I mostly use LJ for the grad school communities anymore but I do want back-up on all the stuff I've posted over the last four years.

I'll be no more or less of a lurker on LJ than I have been. The only difference is my posting location.

ctba, etc

Oct. 23rd, 2007 08:39 pm
lilybart: (Default)
Jack: Lemon, I'm impressed. You're beginning to think like a businessman.
Liz: A businesswoman.
Jack: I don't think that's a word.

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